Couples Counselling

Couple counselling is covered under any insurance plan that covers registered counselling. These days, that is most providers.

Your counsellor will share what you need to do. In most cases, you just need to commit to show up on time and bring yourselves to the office.

Yes, but it’s less the counselling that saves the marriage so much as it is learning to send signals to your partner that you have their back and they are not alone in the relationship. Marriages can be deeply enhanced when both partners commit to humble themselves and attend regular sessions.

Most important is to let go of the need to be ‘right’ and start to consider that it’s OK to have different (and even opposite) emotional experiences of the same events.

It is recommended to come weekly (or at least every second week) in the early stages of couples therapy. After achieving some stability, sessions may be less frequent.

Any practice, including couples therapy, can help to reduce ‘toxic’ patterns of resentment and misunderstanding. Your relationship counsellor Vancouver is there to help you understand invisible patterns so that you can step outside of them and change them.

It may be. We strongly recommend that this be communicated to your partner, however. If couple therapy is approached where one partner thinks efforts are being made to save the relationship while the other is covertly planning to leave, the work can be hurtful and messy. If this uncertainty is openly shared however, the work can be used to help you decide to continue or the consciously end the relationship.

This is a tricky question. First off, we cannot work with a couple experiencing active abuse. Couples work is about the sensitivities of emotional connection, whereas abuse requires triage and crisis intervention. In cases of discovered abuse, the work shifts to protecting a vulnerable party.

Historical abuse may be different. If a vulnerable party is safe and protected, we may be able to approach the delicate work of couples therapy. Assessment here is case to case, however. We cannot take any risk if it is possible someone could get hurt. If someone is abusive, we cannot take risks of triggering their emotional response.

No! In fact we recommend you ‘strike when the iron is cold.’ By learning how to respond to each other’s distress while calm, you practice the hard work that may be used when it really counts later on. You may also deepen your security by sharing positive experiences in a facilitated manner.

No. Couple therapy involves demonstrating negative cycles before your therapist helps you to enact positive ways of interacting. Children can be hurt and confused by seeing their parents go through this process.

This varies. The first phase of couples counselling is about helping you to step back and notice the negative cycles you are stuck in, acting out on ‘autopilot.’ We find that when couples have this basic awareness, things start to improve. While there is major variation between relationships, this often takes about five sessions. 

Yes. In particular, we have one counsellor specialized in polyamorous and open relationships who is happy to help.

Provided both partners are aware, consenting and commited, it is fine for one partner to handle bookings.

It depends on what you mean by ‘worse.’ It can definitely feel more chaotic when feelings that have been swept under the rug are finally communicated. This can be distressing. It is also necessary however in the process of feeling better. This is why commiting to several months is necessary, so that you may both enjoy the resolution and relief on the other side of challenging emotions. 

Unlock the key to a stronger, happier relationship with our couples counselling blog series. Discover all the tools and techniques you need to navigate challenges and build a deeper connection with your partner.