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Couples Counselling

Since 2014 we have helped couples move from coexisting to THRIVING.

What is couples counselling?

Perhaps you’ve heard it called marriage counselling or couples therapy. All are referring to a service that helps to interupt argument cycles and resentments that have become unmanageable and overwhelming. This practice helps to transform negative interactions into positive ones, lowering anger while increasing safety and trust. Vancouver couples counselling has become one of the most accessed therapy services particularly following the pandemic.

girl piggyback riding with a boy with i big smile

Benefits of couples counselling

Counselling for relationships helps partners to develop communication skills and strategies to resolve ongoing tensions. More than that however, it helps partners to know how to soothe each other during heated, triggered discussions versus further ‘fan the flames.’ This is the most important part because no matter how good your communication, that goes out the window when you feel hurt or angry.

When to seek couples counselling?

We recommend seeking couples therapy Vancouver when you both feel invested in creating positive change. Whether you have building resentments or feel unheard, or are so overwhelmed you are doubting the future of your relationships, couples therapy can assist most if you both can commit to understanding each other’s perspective with professional assistance. 

girl piggyback riding with a boy with i big smile

Who can benefit from couples counselling?

Anyone willing to try it out can benefit. Couples looking to save their marriage, prevent future distress or even end a relationship as smoothly as possible may receive benefits from relationship counselling Vancouver. Those who commit to a series of sessions tend to experience the greatest amount of positive change because even attending therapy is something that we improve upon with practice!

How can Thrive Downtown Counselling Centre help you with couples counselling?

How does couples counselling work?

You’ll meet with your couples counsellor Vancouver for 50 or 75-minute appointments, ideally every week or two at first. Your therapist will make it clear they aren’t there to choose sides, but to team up to help you abort negative cycles of interaction. They will help you to understand that people very often have different emotional experiences of the same event, helping you to de-escalate tensions. Work is done mostly in session but may include practices to take home.

What to expect from couples counselling at Thrive Downtown Counselling Centre

You can expect respect, courtesy and awareness that folks often come in very upset and nervous. We are here to make the experience smooth so that you learn to look forward to practicing a more secure relationship. You can also expect complete transparency and clarity around exercises and suggestions. We promise this wont be like couples therapy you’ve seen in movies!

Happy couple laying down and hugging each other.

Thrive offers both in-person and online couples counselling sessions.

Rates

$170 + GST

Counsellor

$60 + GST

Intern

FAQ

Can couples counselling work?

Yes! With commitment to attend sessions and to release the grip of needing to be ‘right,’ couples regularly improve their connections.

Is counselling covered by insurance BC?

Couple counselling is covered under any insurance plan that covers registered counselling. These days, that is most providers.

How do I prepare for my first couples counselling session?

Your counsellor will share what you need to do. In most cases, you just need to commit to show up on time and bring yourselves to the office.

Can counselling save a marriage?

Yes, but it’s less the counselling that saves the marriage so much as it is learning to send signals to your partner that you have their back and they are not alone in the relationship. Marriages can be deeply enhanced when both partners commit to humble themselves and attend regular sessions.

How do I get the most out of couples therapy?

Most important is to let go of the need to be ‘right’ and start to consider that it’s OK to have different (and even opposite) emotional experiences of the same events.

How often should I go to couples therapy?

It is recommended to come weekly (or at least every second week) in the early stages of couples therapy. After achieving some stability, sessions may be less frequent.

Can couples therapy help a toxic relationship?

Any practice, including couples therapy, can help to reduce ‘toxic’ patterns of resentment and misunderstanding. Your relationship counsellor Vancouver is there to help you understand invisible patterns so that you can step outside of them and change them.

Is it a good idea to do couples counselling if I'm considering leaving the relationship?

It may be. We strongly recommend that this be communicated to your partner, however. If couple therapy is approached where one partner thinks efforts are being made to save the relationship while the other is covertly planning to leave, the work can be hurtful and messy. If this uncertainty is openly shared however, the work can be used to help you decide to continue or the consciously end the relationship.

Is couples counselling recommended if there has been abuse in my relationship?

This is a tricky question. First off, we cannot work with a couple experiencing active abuse. Couples work is about the sensitivities of emotional connection, whereas abuse requires triage and crisis intervention. In cases of discovered abuse, the work shifts to protecting a vulnerable party.

Historical abuse may be different. If a vulnerable party is safe and protected, we may be able to approach the delicate work of couples therapy. Assessment here is case to case, however. We cannot take any risk if it is possible someone could get hurt. If someone is abusive, we cannot take risks of triggering their emotional response.

Is couples counselling just for couples in crisis?

No! In fact we recommend you ‘strike when the iron is cold.’ By learning how to respond to each other’s distress while calm, you practice the hard work that may be used when it really counts later on. You may also deepen your security by sharing positive experiences in a facilitated manner.

Can we bring our kids to our couples therapy session?

No. Couple therapy involves demonstrating negative cycles before your therapist helps you to enact positive ways of interacting. Children can be hurt and confused by seeing their parents go through this process.

How long does couples counselling take to see real results?

This varies. The first phase of couples counselling is about helping you to step back and notice the negative cycles you are stuck in, acting out on ‘autopilot.’ We find that when couples have this basic awareness, things start to improve. While there is major variation between relationships, this often takes about five sessions. 

Will marriage counsellors help couples with an open or polyamorous relationship?

Yes. In particular, we have one counsellor specialized in polyamorous and open relationships who is happy to help.

Can one person book couples therapy for both?

Provided both partners are aware, consenting and commited, it is fine for one partner to handle bookings.

Can couples counselling make things worse?

It depends on what you mean by ‘worse.’ It can definitely feel more chaotic when feelings that have been swept under the rug are finally communicated. This can be distressing. It is also necessary however in the process of feeling better. This is why commiting to several months is necessary, so that you may both enjoy the resolution and relief on the other side of challenging emotions.