I have lived in fear for many years not realizing that the endless thoughts and critical self talk was all an ill attempt to avoid feeling my feels. It was when I came to understand that my struggles didn’t need to be constantly scrutinized by recounting the past and or endlessly worrying about what I may do wrong in the future. All I had to do was pause, take a breath and ask myself what is really going on inside? What is really behind all this mental chatter?
What I discovered was that all I am really afraid of is the appearance of not being good enough; not only to others but to myself. This fear ultimately manifests as shame, shame of not being able to trust myself or and even worse the shame of knowing that I am often not able to trust others and frankly that’s not cool with me.
So, I stop thinking. I loosen my grip on the illusion of ego supremacy and allow myself to sit with the emotions that are really just chemical reactions manifested in feelings. These feelings are living in my body and ultimately energy that wants to surface to be released. It may show up in its different forms, as anxiety, depression or trauma… But it’s just trying to find its way out.
By allowing these feelings; shame, anger and ultimately fear of failure to arise, I am able to discharge them, honour them and normalise them. This beautiful process, this catharsis then gives rise to a subtle yet powerful calmness where my inner knower or my real Self is able to come to light. In this light I am able to truly embody the freedom of Self awareness. The blissful being of the Now. A confidence that reminds me that I am not my mind and I am pleasantly flawed and the only thing, the only real thing that matters is that I can try the best I can, and the best I can is always good enough.
David R. Hawkins in his book: Letting go – The Pathway to Surrender says:
“Fear of life is really the fear of emotions. It is not the facts that we fear but our feelings about them. Once we have mastery over or feelings, our fear of life diminishes. We feel greater self confidence, and we are willing to take greater chances because we now feel we can handle the emotional consequences. Because fear is the basis of all inhibitions, mastery over fear means the unblocking of life experiences that previously have been avoided.” ( D.R.H. – Letting Go… p.43)
So, letting go is really choosing to stop resisting the core emotions behind all that noise. Choosing to find the signal and being ok with said signal even if it is scary or doesn’t sound like you thought it would. Choosing to ask yourself, “ what’s behind all these thoughts, what’s the emotion that engendered these thoughts?” When that emotion is discovered we can then commit to sitting with it for it alone is the real culprit here not the myriad of endless and needless thoughts.
When I choose to let go, I’m really choosing to loosen my grip on the endless ego driven self critical thoughts. I’m choosing to feel and honour my feelings for they are there to be felt, celebrated and released to the universe.
The thinking mind is a beautiful thing when used for practical purposes. It is when I get lost in thoughts I forget about how I really feel and when I choose to feel, I am choosing the pathway to letting go.
In conclusion, I am not concerned with what you think about this article… I am though very curious about how this article makes you feel?
Peace and Love
Joel Myers is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor at Thrive Downtown with 7+ years of experience, he offers therapies for addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, and inner healing, such as Client-centered, Holistic, Somatic-informed, Trauma-informed, ACT, MBCT, Narrative therapy, and Sonotherapy. He is a musician and spiritual seeker, ready to help you find purpose, connection, and safety.