By now, most people have watched enough TV to have seen a married couple on a couch talking to a therapist. Sometimes the counsellor or psychologist is serious—holding a notepad and casting intense glances at the nervous couple. Other times, they’re inept and goofy—agitating the couple and making things even worse. What both have in common, however, is that they do very little to help us understand what marriage counselling is actually like.
Given the outrageousness of TV and movies, I think today it would help to answer a completely reasonable and common question:
What is marriage counselling?
Though there are many approaches to working with married couples, what they all have in common is that they aim to support a healthy and well-communicated relationship. Whether they approach the problem through communication, emotions or actions, all services in this area seek to reduce arguments and resentments while increasing harmony and collaboration.
Marriage counselling is a service where you and your partner meet with a therapist in a soundproofed consulting room with the goal of bettering your current situation. The therapist commits to listening closely to understand the uniqueness of your situation while at the same time comparing it to the many different trends and outcomes they’ve experienced with other couples.
At Thrive, marriage counselling takes a strong focus on what sort of predictable and repetitive cycles of interaction you both keep enacting. A Thrive Counsellor sits with you as a kind, non-judgmental yet confident professional whose job is to slow you down, observe and reflect back specifically on what repeating blind spots you are acting out.
After a series of sessions, you will begin to ‘lengthen your fuses,’ noticing with increased awareness just what is happening with moments of fear and anger that typically would happen within seconds. Marriage counselling is the process of expressing feelings that have been swept under the rug while committing to the compassion, patience and humility it takes to send each other messages of how much you matter to each other (despite that, this is also why you are likely so hurt and angry).
The above provides a brief into what exactly marriage counselling is. Please stay tuned for our next article on couple therapy, helping you understand the services and make an informed decision even further.
Ready to explore more about marriage counselling?
Continue to Couples Series Part II: Does Marriage Counselling Work?
Carson Kivari is the Founder and Clinic Director of Thrive Downtown, with years of experience helping individuals and couples overcome anxiety, depression, and burnout. He guides clients on a journey of self-exploration and trauma release to find purpose, connection, and safety. Take the first step towards healing and contact Carson today to schedule a session.
